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How do you ask your guests to give you money instead of wedding gifts? It’s a very simple question with many complicated answers. It’s complicated first by the fact that depending on your cultural background – asking for money is basically one of the seven sins. And then depending on your cultural background – it’s expected and/or THE RULE.

SO. How do you ask for money when you’re not supposed to ask for money?

You don’t ask for money. You spend it. Or rather – you ask for what you are going do with the money. Just like everything else – it’s important how you ask.

You can either say: Please gives us money instead of gifts.

Or you can say:

Please donate to our honeymoon-in-Fiji-fund.

Please donate to our adventure in the jungles of Brazil fund.

Please donate to our kitchen remodeling fund.

(Use a website like HoneyFund to be the collecting middle-man)

You get the idea. When you ask people to help you purchase an experience or needed item – you’re not directly asking for money, you’re asking for help, in the form of money. Get it? Yeah! Here’s the thing though – people want to give you gifts that you’ll enjoy. So if you ask for money to just pay the gas bill – that’s not going to inspire anyone to give. That’s just going to make us feel sad for you. And your wedding shouldn’t make us feel like Sarah McLachlan singing about those dogs.

How to ask for Money instead of Wedding Gifts

So ask for happy things. Ask for experiences. An extra night’s stay on your honeymoon. A special meal at an exclusive restaurant. Stuff like that! Not a month’s supply of kitty litter.

And THAT is how you ask for money in lieu of gifts for your wedding.


All photos by LeahAndMark & Co.

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Atlanta. Wedding. Photographer. LeahAndMark & Co. Asking for Money. Instead of Gifts. Politely.