Wednesday by Leah: Motherhood

– Posted by Leah

Wow, so I’m really and truly somebody’s mother now. A month ago I was in labor. Has it really been a month? Jonah will be 4 weeks tomorrow! Mark and I are so very lucky to have such a healthy, amazing son. Jonah is the sweetest little guy ever. It’s been so much fun watching his personality start to unfold, getting to know him – getting to know myself as a mother and Mark as a father.

Right now my life consists of a lot of nursing, a lot of singing, a lot of kisses, a lot of diaper changes, and not a lot of sleep. The sleep thing is not Jonah’s fault, though – he sleeps a lot! I just lost my ability to nap once I stopped being pregnant, unfortunately. He is still nursing every 2 hours, but we usually get one stretch of 3 – 3.5 hours in the middle of the night, which is great for both of us.

Honestly, I started feeling like a mom when I found out I was pregnant. It was a rather passive type of mothering, though. This first month of mothering a child outside of my body is definitely more “real” and active than being a mom to a fetus. Has it been different than I expected? Yes and no. I expected to be completely consumed with my new role, and totally in love in with my sweet boy. I did not expect it to be quite so easy. I expected to feel more exhausted, perhaps a bit harried, overwhelmed, unsure of myself. But it feels very natural, this motherhood thing. Mark and I are a great team, and he’s able to be home with us a lot, so I have plenty of support. Jonah is an angel – a laid-back, easy-to-soothe, hardly-ever-fusses baby.

The intensity of the love I feel for Jonah – and the love Mark feels for him, too – is impossible to put into words.  We just look at Jonah, and look at each other, and say again and again, “I love him so much!!!” But “so much” pales in comparison to just how much we love our son. I’ve never ever ever felt a love like this before. I miss Jonah if someone else has been holding him for an hour or so. I sleep better when he’s asleep on my chest. My body still feels very connected to him. He cries and my boobs leak. He smiles and I can’t look away. He snuggles up against me and I am instantly relaxed and at peace.

I’m happy to say that I’m completely loving being a mom. I was scared to take this huge leap, to take on this new identity, but so far it has been the absolute best adventure of my life. I was meant to do this. Jonah was meant to be in our lives. Everything feels so right.

And isn’t he cute???!  =) I’m one proud mama.