– Posted by +Jo

I hope your New Year has started off amazing. I hope you were safe and had a lot of fun on New Year’s Eve. You deserved it.

I’ve been rather vacant lately. This year holds so much potential – something I don’t think I fully took advantage of in the last. Growing up I always spent my New Years Eves with my Meme {aka grandmother}. Every one, until I went to college. The last few have held nothing for me. I was usually at home working on something for school or at a club bar tending/bouncing. {Yeah – lil’ ol’ me – but just the ladies.} So I was too busy to really take the time to think about the year in reverse.

This year I spent a great deal of time on the subject. It seemed like a luxury I couldn’t afford to pass up.
Unfortunately, even with my supreme ability to ramble, I can’t really put it all into words.

This past year felt like a decade and at the end I feel like a child. I found many insecurities I thought I had left far behind me. I discovered the many faults I believed I had conquered. I’m very cynical and naive at the same time.  This year threw me in every direction and left me beaten in the corner. But I like to believe I have a little bit of an Ippo Complex. {Now, I realize you probably do not know who I’m talking about – he’s an anime character based on a Japanese Featherweight Boxing Champion. He takes a beating every time, yet always allows his fighting spirit to lead him to victory.}

That was this year.

I my have won the match but I am far from the championship. And I certainly have my war wounds.
Most of the lessons I learned are depressing and cynical: people revel in takeing advantage of others, even long time friends can/will betray you, your health will give out when you least expect it, people do not like to pay for things, being multi-disciplinary is not the best thing in this economy, people want good little soldiers, etc…

I don’t know how else to think about those things. I tried to find a better {positive} way to word all of these lessons. But I don’t have the words.
This past year was crap.

Then in the last few months – this past year was amazing.

And I have to remind myself that I found a new part of me this past year. I have an amazing life long companion in Eric. I have so many people rooting for me in the world. I know that once I’m given the chance I can do anything I put my mind to. I have found my way into new little friend-families after my old one split in Savannah. I know myself better than ever. Not completely, but better.

And still, I can’t seem to be able to express everything…

maybe I’m not supposed to.


Instead – I’ll leave you with some images:


Here’s to the next year.
I will be my own Champion.