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pink
so, three boys.
look, I’m not just accepting of being physically done having children, I am emotionally, mentally, whole-heartedly done. my husband and I used to be young and beautiful and full of energy. we are not now. we are worn out, lifeless shells of the people we used to be. or the people we thought we were, anyway. or the people we should have been while we had the chance.
and yet…litte girls. tuesday I was invited to do a product shoot for Lillibands / LilliWear. dresses and headbands, ponchos, skirt and shirt sets. all in colors that don’t tend to find their way into my boys’ wardrobe. and then the models! babies, toddlers, almost tweens. so beautiful. girls filled with and emanating all the things you imagine and yearn for when it’s not your reality.
I don’t feel sad thinking about not having another one. I don’t ache (though maybe my uterus did for just a tiny bit playing with those sweet little ones). I don’t feel that anything is missing. quite the opposite. my life is overflowing. and likely the gods knew I couldn’t handle a girl. I think I’m just feeling older. feeling over 40. feeling non-childbearing-ish. knowing I’ve exited that stage of my life. temporally exiting the spotlight as the children grow and enter it themselves.
but still. all that estrogen. it was nice. that’s all I’m really saying.
this shoot was a great blend of all that I’ve been learning. model shoots. family shoots. product shoots. I got to incorporate all of it. getting the kids to smile or play or pose. directing them, making them look good. and in addition to all that, or in spite of it, ultimately, making it all about the product. but what works for a product catalog doesn’t necessarily work for a photography intern’s blog. so what I choose to present here, and how I processed it is different from what I’m giving to my client/friend.
remember my hair and shoes post? lillibands are awesome headbands, and are part of that list of necessary hair accoutrements. and I’m not just saying that. I actually have a dedicated lillibands drawer. that’s how many I have and how much I love them.