While it’s perfectly fine and alright to simply go with the ‘regular program’ when it comes to your wedding ceremony – you may decide that the ‘regular program’ isn’t right for you.
Here are a few tips and ideas to keep in mind while you create your unique and special wedding ceremony.
- You are getting married and the ceremony is actually the really important portion. Make sure you give it the attention and effort that it deserves. Even if you’re not writing a ceremony from scratch and simply making personalized adjustments to a traditional ceremony – be mindful and present during the planning of your ceremony.
- Your beliefs as a couple and individually, make up the pieces of your ceremony. Spend some time discussing what’s important to each of you. Constructive disagreements are okay and you shouldn’t to avoid them.
- Whether you go with a religious officiant associated with a traditional church, or if you have a friend get ordained – you want to find someone that you both like. Not just kind of like, but really like down to your bones and feel good about. This is the person that will be marrying you to each other!
- It’s okay to go with a traditional service. Just like anything else – it’s all in HOW you do it, but also what it means to you. If you can’t find meaning in your wedding service then it doesn’t matter if it’s traditional or hand crafted.
- Write your vows. I’m serious. I know people say it doesn’t matter – but it does. Also – writing your own vows is the easiest, and most powerful way to truly make your wedding ceremony ‘yours’.
- When writing your vows – don’t hold back. Let it all go. Rip out your heart and give it to your other. Your vows is not the time to be cool, or polite. I repeat – rip out your heart and give it to your other.
- When you arrive at your ceremony – show up. Be there emotionally.
Your ceremony is not the 15 minute break between drinks.
Your ceremony is not the warm up to the party.
Your ceremony IS the wedding.
Wedding. Ceremony. Planning. Creating. Writing. How to. Tips. Ideas. Make. Vows.
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Whether you have 10 guests or 300 guests – you’re going to have to feed them – something. Even if you’re having a mid-afternoon wedding so that you can avoid buying everyone dinner – you’re still going to have to give them at least a few animal crackers and some boxes of Hi-C fruit juice. Of course, that might be looking at things a little harshly.
These are your wedding guests and not just hungry warm bodies that want you to pay $50-$100 per person just so they can party and drink as much alcohol as you’re willing to pay for. They’re your closest friends and family – all of the people that you care about and that most want the two of you to be together. I know – there are going to be people you think you are obligated to invite, and that’s true – you will think that – and that’s okay. Just know that obligated doesn’t mean must.
I want you to approach your guests list as if you are making a list of people that you want witnessing your professing of love for each other. You’re making a list of the people you want to witness your marriage ceremony. Not a list of people who will bring strangers (their +1) that will meet you for the first time ever at your wedding. Not a list of relatives you don’t like. I know – that one’s a tough one to accept – but it’s true. Whether strangers or guests – you don’t have to invite people you don’t like. F*ck that. It’s your wedding. Be surrounded by the people that love you both.
Surround yourself with people that don’t care about the flowers, or the open bar, or anything other than the fact that they get to be there for the two of you. Those are the people you want. They’re the ones on your guest list. Not the folks that want anything from you. Not the ones that want you to make them feel special on your wedding day. It’s your wedding not theirs.
Fill your guest list with people that will celebrate your wedding and your love above everything else that day.
All photos by LeahAndMark & Co.
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