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Wednesday by Leah: It’s Like Pooping

So I know I already wrote about my homebirth experience, and talked a little about what labor and birth were like… but now that I’m out of that initial post-birth haze, I thought I’d share a bit more about what giving birth actually FELT like. And really, it felt like pooping. So much so that I was convinced my child was coming out of the wrong opening! I never had that ring of fire that so many women describe…maybe cuz I was giving birth in water, I don’t know… for me, giving birth was like having a 20 lb (ok, really a 7 lb) bowling ball come out of my butt. Except BabyRoX didn’t come out of my butt. To this day, I would swear that he did, though!  That’s how much it felt like pooping!

Y’all…I wasn’t going to write this post. Mark said I should, though. I’m not trying to be gross. But I do wish someone had sat me down before I gave birth and told me this. I was told that I should push like I was having a bowel movement. I was also told that many women get hung up on their fear of actually pooping during birth. (And I didn’t think I would be one of those women!) But I was NOT told that giving birth feels like taking the biggest dump of your life, and I think if I had been told that, I would’ve pooped out my sweet baby a lot faster! But I kept waiting to feel him coming out of my vagina. And instead all I felt was intense pressure in my rectum. I was convinced that I couldn’t give birth until I pooped. I mean, I thought I really needed to poop first and then I could have my baby. So I kept sitting on the toilet trying to poop…only I was really trying to give birth, and I didn’t know it! Finally my wonderful doula and midwife convinced me that I really just needed to push the baby out and YES that intense pressure on my rectum was normal and YES the baby really is about to come and NO I don’t need to worry about pooping anymore.

Cutest poop in the world!

I didn’t think I was going to be worried about pooping. But I also didn’t realize just how much giving birth would feel like having a bowel movement! I also thought that by the time I was ready to push out my baby, I wouldn’t care if I pooped or not… I thought I would be so out of it, or in so much pain that nothing mattered, or in such a deeply relaxed state that the baby would just slide out and I wouldn’t have a care in the world. I had an amazingly relaxed labor, but when it came time to push, I wasn’t in that trance-like state. I also wasn’t in such pain that I stopped caring about anything else. I was very much aware of the feeling of needing to poop, and very averse to doing that with everyone around me, and completely unaware that the poop-feeling was my baby coming out. So I’m giving the rest of y’all a heads up – when you are nearing the end of your labor and you feel like you need to poop, YOUR BABY IS COMING! Got it? Good. Happy baby pooping!


School Daze

So I had an awesome birthday.  Aside from the scary clown cake that greeted me at 6:00 Tuesday morning.  (See, I’ve gotten Mark a birthday cake every year on his birthday.  He’s never gotten me one.  So I finally mentioned that to him, and this year I got 3 birthday cakes.  Woops.  Be careful what you wish for. The only scary one was the clown one, though.)

We had a delicious dinner at South City Kitchen.  Much to my surprise, Mark had visited the maitre’d earlier on that day and pre-selected the entire meal, from drinks to dessert.  It was fabulous.  Mmmm.  I love really good food.

Photo courtesy of Off the Broiler

Photo courtesy of Off the Broiler

This past week I’ve been working on a book that my GRA (Graduate Research Assistant) supervisor is writing.  She’s put quite a lot of work into this book, and I’m the citation-checker/APA-formatter.  APA is the American Psychological Association and they have created a specific style of writing/referencing all human sciences literature.  It sort of sucks until you get the hang of it, and then it’s not so bad.  I just have an issue with rules that have no rhyme or reason to them, other than because some folks decided that’s how things should be done, even if it makes no logical sense whatsoever.  But I’m not fighting the APA.  It’s easier just to learn the rules and do it.

In actuality, I am enjoying this assignment.  Not only do I get to learn about what goes into writing a book…an academic book, that is, I also get to be a big nerd and settle in among piles of books and articles and dig through them all to find the right source to cite.  Maybe that doesn’t sound like fun to some of you, but trust me – for me, this IS fun.  It combines two things I really love: treasure hunts and reading.  And if the subject matter of the book was boring to me, than of course this would not be very fun, but since the books I am digging through are on subjects that DO interest me and that I don’t know a whole lot about yet, I really love getting to spend hours every day immersed in all this literature.

Of course, I also tire of even the most enjoyable activities after a short period of time, but I’ve only had to tackle the first chapter of the book this week, and then I get a break until she’s finished the second chapter.  So it’s the ideal assignment for me.

School starts back next week, and my internship starts 2 weeks later.  And yes, I am super excited for school to start.  I think this year will be even more interesting than last, especially since I’m back in school-mode, which makes writing papers is a lot easier, and I now have a basic foundation in Social Work, which I really didn’t prior to last year, even though I thought I did.  And also I have updated my glasses and contacts prescriptions, so I can SEE!  Well!  And I can read for long stretches of time without getting severe headaches.  Awesome.  And my speedy new computer and super huge monitor that Mark got me are also very useful for all the school work ahead and for reducing my frustration level, thereby reducing his frustration level, too.  (Me last year: Marrrrrrrk, my computer is frozen again!  $@#!^&**^$#%%!!  Come fix it!  Now!  Please!)

I love Mark even though he gets me scary clown cakes and pink frilly wife cards.  Maybe I even love him a little bit because of that.

Gratuitous wedding photo!  Bye now!