- Posted by Leah

I’ve always tried to be present, mindful, aware of the here-and-now. But it’s so easy to get distracted, to think about what I’m doing in 5 days or 5 months or 5 minutes, what people are saying on Facebook, what I should blog about next, what I want to eat for dinner… so I only succeeded at being truly present about 2% of the time. Or maybe .02%.

Having a kid has definitely changed that. It has forced me into the present, where I now spend around 93% of my time. I *want* to be present, to see Jonah smile, to hear his new sounds, to respond. I want him to know that he has attentive parents, that he is valued and cared about and respected.

And I *have* to be present – to read his cues and know when he needs to eat or go to the bathroom or get cuddled. I have to make sure he is safe and warm and (relatively) clean. I can’t just let my mind wander.  I can’t be living 5 minutes ahead. I have to be right here and now, caring for my son. Maybe that will change as he becomes more independent. But for now it’s been a wonderful exercise in mindfulness, in living completely in the moment.

It took me around 7 minutes to transfer clothes from the washer to the dryer today. It normally takes me a minute or less. But I was wearing Jonah in my Moby wrap, so I had to make sure he wasn’t getting too jostled around, pulling clothes out of the waaay bottom of our top-loading washer. I also had to unfold everything from the wet, clumped-together state a.) to make sure any bright yellow breastfed-baby poop stains had come out and b.) so that the cloth diapers would dry faster. And as I’m taking my sweet time to complete this very simple, mindless task, I realized that I was so very HERE. My mind wasn’t wandering. I felt incredibly calm.

In the past, I wouldn’t have even remembered transferring the clothes because I would be so distracted by my mental clutter. Jonah forces me to slow down. To be here, 100%. And what a gift that is! Maybe I can’t nearly as much done in a day… but the day itself is richer, is more full of memories, of moments fully lived. And I would trade that for a checked-off to-do list any day.