I have a problem. It’s called being a people pleaser. I know, it’s not really a problem. Only it is. Because instead of doing what I think would be awesome, my mind first and foremost thinks about what I should do or what it thinks other people would want or want me to produce. It’s incredibly generous of me, I know. I’ve been doing it for the longest time, but now I’m trying the really difficult task of rewiring my brain to think of me first. I am a person after all. So many other people think of themselves first and the only person I only ever let down is myself. So this is me trying really really hard to think of myself first. Ugh it’s against all my inner autopilot-ness. If I want to change my mind, I will. If I want to take a different path, I will. Right. Hmm. I’ll let you know how this goes. It’s much easier to type that to practice…
Jocelyn and Jon are a great example of two people who did exactly what they wanted when it came to their wedding. No trying to please anyone but themselves; their wedding was completely for them. The details, the ceremony; everything was personal to them and it was beautiful. This was was my first outdoor-wedding and also the first time, in my three wedding repertoire, that I felt yes I actually produced good photos here. Well done Ellie. I think I gave myself a pat on the back for this one. I’m not sure what it was exactly other than the continuing learning I was going through, and having done two previous weddings that was slowly building up my confidence in my ability to produce good photos. I was still balancing what I should be producing and what I wanted to be producing on the same set of scales. But Jon and Jocelyn’s wedding was the first time I could go yes, I am on my way. My photos still have a long way to go, but I felt I had gotten over the first hurdle.
I left Sugarboo with a smile on my face, my first wedding portrait session under my belt and the confidence that I was getting better at this.