Flying Back to Atlanta & my Family

So as I sit here at Phoenix SkyHarbor, waiting for my flight, I’m very, very happy that I was able to come out for my brother’s graduation. It’s always interesting to see my family – especially since I’m honestly not as close as I could be with them. Although I’ve made some progress over the last few years, it’s still always a gap that has to be bridged whenever I see them – but again, it’s getting better. Not that anything ever happened, I just went off and did my own thing for such a long time. And while it stings me that I cannot get back that lost time with them – times that I simply missed out on because I was just more interested in my friends and other people who don’t really matter. Still, I’d like to think that my relationship with them is improving.

I have to warn all of you, I’m on this big kick of being¬† ‘present’ and not so much living in the future or the past (I never really did the past thing, but the future? It’s a favorite place I like to hangout in.) This weekend I did try to be more present with everyone and less… thinking about what I was going to do next, or when I get back or just.. thinking about other things while I was spending time with someone – such as my brother, or my sister, or my parents. For me at least, it was probably one of my best trips and time spent with my family in a long time.

And while my life is continuing to get busy and full with everything and Leah, it’s still always in the back of my mind that I need to make the effort, to call, to write, to spend time with them – and help them spend time with me. Because obviously, even though all of a sudden I’m making the effort, they’re not used to making the effort to hangout with me – simply because we’re all out of practice. And even though we’re on opposite sides of the country, I am glad that I am probably much more connected to them now, than when I lived across town. The significant distance makes everything hard to take for granted.

And although I don’t have a picture of my mom posted, over the last few years I know that we have both opened up to each other considerably. As hard and stubborn as we both are, it was once difficult – like it is between so many people – but these days, I accept and feel the love that she has for me – not that it wasn’t always there – but you know what I mean. So. Today I fly back to Atlanta and it’ll be good to be back with Leah and One-Two and Three-Four, I’ve missed them and while it was great to be here, everyone has missed Leah and wished that she would have come.

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