“Happiness is a Journey, Not a Destination”
I’m a planner. A semi-planner, actually. I like to have goals, a sense of direction in life. But as a person with many varied passions and interests, I also change my plans periodically. Sometimes rapidly. But through all the different plans, I’ve had two main goals:
1. I want to be happy.
2. I want to connect with others in a way that fosters love, compassion, and joy.
And the times in my life when I’ve been the most frustrated, and almost made some big mistakes (like…breaking up with Mark…yes, really! Not for long, though…), were the result of my secondary plans getting confused with my two main goals. When I start to let my plans define me, or define what I need in order to be happy, those plans stop becoming a stepping stone to take me where I want to go. They turn into quicksand - I get stuck and start sinking.
For the longest time I thought I needed to move to Nepal or China to be happy. I hung onto that plan and it nearly cost me this amazing relationship. This had been my plan long before I met Mark, it was what I wanted and what I was working and saving towards, and my tunnel-vision was turned up a little too high. Fortunately, I came to my senses in time - before Mark fully realized what a nutcase I am… or maybe he realized it from the start and just decided to love me anyway, in spite of it. And now it even turns out that he wants to move there with me. So I get to have my cake and eat it, too. Hah. But I had to learn something that is probably common sense to a lot of people, especially for all the non-planners out there: If I’m happy RIGHT NOW, with where I am in my life, there is no rush or need to CHANGE anything.
Duh.
Happy doesn’t mean perfect. It doesn’t mean that I don’t have crappy, whiny days or that I wake up beaming sunshine out of my eyes and humming a cheery tune. But it does mean that I generally really like myself, I like where I am and what I’m doing and the people I’m with. It means that there are more good days than bad days, more fun than boredom, and it also means that I’m able to accomplish goal #2 in my Master Plan. Because when I’ve got Goal #2 going on, I am at my happiest.
Which actually means I only ultimately have one goal in life. And that’s to be happy.
=)
